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After reading Why Some People Change And Others Do Not by Claudia Good at Rise365.com, I felt compelled to look back at my life and think about labels I have received or given myself.
I’ve been known as shy. I don’t think it’s true. Introverted? Absolutely. Without question. Shy? No. I like people, just not in bunches. One on one is perfect.
A previous boss, an extrovert, once confided in me that they were worried I’d get walked all over when they moved on because of my easy-going personality. I’m doing just fine, thank you very much. I use the tools in my toolbox as they are intended and I get results. It works for me.
When Liz and I were planning our wedding, several years ago, we had a bigger decision to make than what color flowers to have and what appetizers to serve. We had to plan how our life together was going to look. The big decision we made was to move from Southeastern Wisconsin to Saint Paul, MN.
We’ve never discussed our reasoning with anyone but each other until now. There were several factors to weigh, but there was one big one. On the surface, it looked like we had a dream scenario in Wisconsin. Both of our parents live literally blocks apart. We have friends in the area, familiarity with lifestyle and culture.
We chose to leave to get a fresh start. I am particularly susceptible to internalizing peoples’ perception of me, which makes me a bit of a chameleon. I never really lose who I am, but I blend in with my surroundings. We needed to go someplace where there were no existing perceptions of who we were. A place where the labels haven’t been given.
I know my parents, in-laws, and friends would rather have us nearby, but they get a better, more authentic version of us because we are able to grow in all directions instead of just out of the cracks of who people think we are.
We started off our marriage with complete freedom to define how we were going to live. There were no routines or traditions to preserve. Everything was fresh. It took this cleansing to give us the necessary margin to grow into who we are today.
Now, almost 7 years in, life keeps getting better. We keep growing. We keep getting more comfortable with who we are and who we are not. Life really is a journey, but you can choose your path.
Do you need to take a drastic step to free yourself from your labels? What small change can you make today to set you on a new course?
